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9th step promises10/2/2023 ![]() Our sponsors can help us explore each of these concepts so that we gain perspective on the nature of our specific amends and stay focused on what we’re supposed to be doing. Restitution as it relates to the Ninth Step is the act of returning something material (or abstract) to its rightful owner. Finding a resolution to these problems means coming up with answers and solutions and laying them to rest. Resolution as recovering addicts, means we likely have past experiences that plague us or disturb us in some way. This can mean restoring our reputations, and even restoring trust in a relationship. Restoration means bringing something back to its former state, usually things that have been damaged. ![]() Keep in mind the three concepts or “The Three R’s” of the Ninth Step that are associated with making amends: To keep things as simple as possible, you can get your head in the game by focusing on the purpose of the Ninth Step. There is freedom that is gained by cleaning up the past, a freedom to live peacefully in the present. In fact, maybe you’ll find that you feel excited about the possibility of healing a relationship or happily anticipating the relief you will feel after having made a particularly scary amends or even paying off a debt. However, making amends doesn’t always have to be a nerve-racking, dreadful or joyless experience. We may be afraid about making financial amends, or afraid of rejection, retaliation and a host of other doubtful outcomes. When it comes to making amends to others, there are usually a lot of fears and expectations involved. The part of the amends process whereby we change ourselves has an effect on everyone around us and goes on long after we’ve spoken directly to someone we have harmed. We have already begun making amends to ourselves by changing some of our behaviors, attitudes and beliefs. Living Amends – when you show others as well as yourself that you have made a genuine lifestyle change and are making a commitment to yourself and those that you have hurt that you will & have discarded your previous destructive behaviors. Indirect Amends – finding ways to repair damage that cannot be reversed or undone by doing things like volunteering and helping others. What does that mean? There are three kinds of amends:ĭirect Amends – taking personal responsibility for your actions and confronting the person who you would like to reconcile with. It is suggested that we make direct amends to people whenever possible. So what is Step Nine of AA Alcoholics Anonymous? Step Nine is that biggie step, the one we likely have created some anxiety over because it involves making amends. Breaking Down Step Nine Of AA Alcoholics Anonymous ![]() Where we were angry, we begin to be forgiving. Where we were selfish, we begin to be selfless. That self-centeredness is replaced by an awareness of other people, and instead of being indifferent, we begin to care. Becoming a ”better person” means that we are less willing to engage in destructive behaviors, mostly because we are aware of how much they cost us in human misery. You’ve probably already discovered that by staying clean and sober and by working the Twelve Steps of AA that things are getting better. More importantly, living with the left over guilt and shame from past wrongdoings prevents us from moving forward and puts us at risk for using again! In my experience, walking around with the weight of amends that need to be taken care of really sucks. Step Nine of AA Alcoholics Anonymous is the perfect time to let go of the horrible way we feel about our past and to radically repair relationships. As active addicts and alcoholics, we likely lied, cheated, or stole in order to get, use (and hide using) our drug of choice… because addiction creates absolute moral wreckage. 83Īt this point in our step work we may be trudging the road to happy destiny, but we’ve reached the point where we must repair what we left behind us on a path of shattered relationships. “The readiness to take the full consequences of our past acts, and to take responsibility for the well-being of others at the same time, is the very spirit of Step Nine.”– Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions, p. “Made direct amends to such people wherever possible, except when to do so would injure them or others.”
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